I had a dream where I was living in New York again. I lives there over 13 years ago. In my waking life right now, I live in San Francisco and am recovering from a bad injury and have been bed ridden most of the year. I do feel powerless and stuck. In my dream I was excited to be back in New York. The area that I was in was bustling with people, and my energy was so high and I felt so strong and confident. I said out loud in my dream that it was always my dream to move back to New York! I believe I was looking for a job, and I was in a building that looked like a huge indoor mall with marble floors… there were people everywhere, Sitting on the stairs etc… there was a part of my dream where I was in a meeting room with a long table, and a boss type man at the end of the table - there were photos of me and my ex boyfriend Rick (who I was with when I lived in New York years ago) on the counter. In the photos, I had a bottle of champagne in my hands, like we were drunk, and I was laying on top of him in the photos. They were not dirty or sexual, they were just photos of us being drunk and having fun with each other, embracing. It’s actually appropriate to be drunk in the photos because my ex was an alcoholic. I did drink more when I was with him but I wasn’t an alcoholic. Anyway, I was angry that they were trying to judge me from the photos! And I said something like - in those photos, I hadn’t seen him in 2 years! He was the love of my life. After hearing that the boss guy softened and seemed like he was being sweeter and remembering how it felt to be in love. A woman came in who actually said she worked with Rick and a different office. I chatted with her about him but I don’t remember the conversation. All I know is that Rick appeared and it was like we were trying to get back together, or we had tried and weren’t sure it was going to work out. In the dream I saw him as very worried, neurotic, always looking around at other women , and indecisive… he seemed pretty bothered mentally. In reality this is actually partially true of him… he needed to be the center of attention and always flirted with people in front of me. I felt very neglected. And he took after his mom, I suspected he might have been gay because he never wanted sex with me. Anyway… in the dream if felt like he loved me and wanted me but his behaviors towards me made me feel differently. He then told me something like - you have to know what type of cookie you’re getting - and then you know the cookie and what to expect from it and make it work. I don’t remember much else, that was the gist of it.
Your dream paints a vivid picture rich with symbols and emotions that might reflect your current life circumstances and unresolved feelings from your past. Let's interpret the various elements:
Symbolism: Your return to New York, a place that buzzes with energy and life, might represent a longing for empowerment and vitality, qualities you feel deprived of due to your current situation being bedridden. New York may symbolize a time in your life when you felt strong, confident, and full of potential.
Interpretation: This part of your dream could indicate a desire to reclaim these feelings and move from stagnation to dynamism. It's a reminder of the powerful and energetic version of yourself and a subconscious push toward regaining that inner strength and enthusiasm.
Symbolism: The indoor mall with marble floors represents opportunities and the search for your identity or purpose. Malls are places of choice and exploration, suggesting you're considering different paths or opportunities in your life.
Interpretation: Your activities here might be reflecting a desire for personal or professional growth and the ambition to explore new directions despite your current limitations. The setting being like a mall - with choices and crowds - could signal your inner restlessness and readiness to re-engage with life.
Symbolism: The meeting room represents judgment and assessment, possibly reflecting your self-reflection or concern about how past choices and relationships are viewed by others. Photos expose past experiences, capturing moments of joy and recklessness.
Interpretation: The presence of your ex -- along with the photos reminding you of past happiness -- suggests unresolved emotions or lessons needing attention. Your anger about judgment in the dream could symbolize guilt or shame you feel about that part of your life, but also underscores that you have grown from that experience.
Symbolism: Rick represents a period in your life that was mixed with excitement and disillusionment. His neurotic behavior could symbolize unresolved feelings about the relationship or emotions you have been carrying after its end.
Interpretation: Your recognition of his flaws while still acknowledging your love suggests your consciousness wrestling with conflicting emotions. His advice about "knowing the cookie" is a metaphor for understanding and accepting someone as they are, knowing what to expect and if it fits with your needs.
Your dream seems to be an emotional processing journey:
Reclaiming Power: It reflects your need to regain strength, vitality, and confidence, perhaps to take on new challenges or changes once your physical situation improves.
Reflection on Past Relationships: The dream indicates a desire for resolution and understanding of past relationships, specifically with Rick, and how those experiences shape your current self.
Acceptance and Moving Forward: The message about understanding "the cookie" suggests a need to accept and understand past relationships and yourself, recognizing lessons learned, which could aid in future relationships and self-acceptance.
Desire for Change: Despite current limitations, you have a strong yearning for growth, change, and reconnection with your dynamic self, similar to what you experienced in New York.
Embrace this symbolic exploration as a guiding light, pointing to aspects of life and self you wish to reclaim or evolve. It's an invitation to introspection and preparation for personal growth and recovery.